It is important to have standards since it’s used as a basis for judgment – what’s good or right and what is bad or wrong. ’Standard’ is a term which has a positive meaning and can be associated with other words such as ‘rule’, ‘principle’, and ‘ideal’. You have to ask yourself – could your standards get in the way of dating and having a romantic relationship? Do you have unreasonable standards in dating?
When it gets in the way
When it comes to the kind of individuals we want to date and have a romantic relationship with, there are particular characteristics that we search for. These are what we call standards. But when it comes to the requirements of individuals we want to date and possibly have a partnership with, this is known as dating standards. Here are a few examples that clearly depict these kinds of standards:
1. Only dating someone if she/he earns a lot.
2. Go out with an individual who is not selfish.
3. Only going out with somebody if he/she has a personality that’s compatible with mine.
4. I will only date someone who is emotionally mature.
This checklist could go on and on but in the meantime, let’s discuss the ones mentioned above.
Whilst the 4 standards stated earlier are not too much, they can be totally different if you interpret them this way:
1. I would only date somebody with a dependable career who earns 6 figures.
2. I will just go out with someone who is not selfish. He must put me first more than anything else.
3. Only going out with someone if he/she has a personality that is compatible with mine according to my list.
4. Date a person who is mature mentally and totally understands me.
Even if we’re oftentimes not aware that we interpret them this way, it makes the aforementioned dating standards rather too much.
What to do
The solution is not to make your dating standards too high. You must be fair and honest with regards to your dating standards. When you do that then you won’t have unrealistic dating standards. The chances of you finding a partner who will do the same for you would improve as you get a better viewpoint of things.
Please Bear in Mind
Please keep in mind that it’s vital to have reasonable dating standards, no matter what they are. It will also help that you do an honest evaluation of yourself and see if those standards were to be measured up to you. There is actually nothing wrong with having standards. They just need to be reasonable, mature and truthful.